Ercille I. Christmas

Happy New Year, American Taxpayers
January 4, 2010

Are we there yet? Yes, we are now in the year 2010, which I dubbed, the "year and a half,” in anticipation of more political monstrosities (healthcare reform?). As the old year with all of its trials and tribulations, went screaming into the night, I was left with a case that presented itself to me. Unqualified scientist that I am becoming, I will rise to the challenge. I promise not to dump the data, as was reported in that situation having to do with global "warming.”

I previously categorized cowardly men, who go around killing and maiming Homo sapiens as "homo terroriticus.” As if to bolster my case, almost on cue, on Christmas Day, an alleged candidate showed up on a flight from the Netherlands, complete with an undetonated bomb in his underwear. Next time, the "bomb implanters” should insert the bomb in his head, in the space where a brain normally would be lodged. Nature abhors a vacuum. Another few inches, and that "religious fanatic, bomber boy, with semi-exploding weapon in underwear,” could have conceivably gone to meet those famous 72 virgins, minus the "equipment,’ needed to "service” them! This "man-made disaster” thing is really just a game of inches, isn’t it? Don’t cry for him, though. He is receiving great medical care for the injury to his leg, thanks to the largesse of another group that I am about to identify. He is also all "lawyered up,” again thanks to that same group.

The group which may soon have to be placed on the endangered species list, in order to preserve it? Hint: When a country needs rescuing, money for the rescue, is confiscated, I mean raised, from that group. When a US politician comes up with a cockamamie idea that needs conscription of funds, I mean raising of funds, all eyes turn to that group. Yep, your guess is correct. The group is made up of American taxpayers.

When I see a member of that group, it is like looking into a mirror. As a matter of fact, take my name and replace it with one of theirs, or tweak the numbers on our social security cards, and we could be interchangeable! What makes us so much like peas in the same financial pod, regardless of "insignificant” characteristics such as race, creed and color? It is the taxes, stupid! Superman has his "S” on his cape. We have letter "T” on our foreheads! It should be more like a letter "V,” but that is another story for another day.

We are faceless, nameless, working everymen who contribute and contribute, and are essentially told: "Shut up and pay your taxes!” How did it all go so wrong? When did this taxing of citizens to death and beyond scheme begin? Will it ever end? Why are politicians, already in a protected status, living larger and larger, at our expense? "Too big to fail,” became a rallying cry for bailing out big business. Is the US political structure "too corrupt” to be allowed to exist?

"How did it all go so wrong”? Name the ways. The ways are like the legs of an octopus, or the heads of a hydra. Walk with me through the history books. The "Scheme” of taxing citizens, beyond the usual excise tax, began with the voluntary income tax, and the "taxers” have never looked back. The nation was already existing, without taxing the income of its citizens, when subsequent politicians began wrestling with the idea of living beyond the means of the nation, by taxing the wages of its citizens. Finally in 1913 by adding an amendment to the Constitution, the tax on income was here to stay. By 1943, someone came up with the idea of taking out the government’s share of citizens earnings, before the citizens even got to hold those wages in their "grubby little hands,” with the introduction of the "withholding” tax. Why don’t we just do away with the pretense of "gross” wages? The only thing "gross” is that it is a misleading term, designed to fool us into thinking that we are making more money than we actually receive.

Citizens, when you hear the word "progressive,” used in relation to taxes, prepare for your wallets to voluntarily go on life support. In the 1860s the average tax rate was 3%. How much will it have "progressed” to in 2010? The Founding Fathers and their fellow citizens went to war over the issue of "taxation without representation”? We now have "representation” pouring out of every hamlet and glen, seemingly proportional to the number of taxes! Now, apparently the tax cuts that were put in place by President GW Bush are about to be allowed to expire. Don’t you try to expire from this news, though. There are taxes to be paid, you working stiffs! On second thoughts, you can go ahead and expire. Your estates will take care of the tax thing. You are covered, even unto death. Lucky you.

What was another question that was posed? Oh yes. Is the US political structure too corrupted to be allowed to exist? Maybe the following examples could be a case for the prosecution, although the conveyance of funds is apparently legal. As I have already stated, I am an untrained scientist, not a lawyer. Per Senator Landrieu from Louisiana, she was able to secure $300,000,000 for her state, as part of the negotiations for the healthcare reform bill. Her critics are insisting on calling her take the "The Louisiana Purchase,” reportedly heftier than the real Louisiana Purchase. "The Cornhusker Kickback” is the fond moniker given to the deal that Senator Nelson from Nebraska got for his state. Some in the other 49 states are incensed. They need to heed the sage advice of the Senate Leader who stated: If they don’t have something in it important to them then it doesn’t speak well of them." Translation? "If you (other senators in states who did not collect payola, I mean incentives), were stupid enough to not get your share of the pork for your state, you do not deserve a place in this august body!” Maybe I stretched the truth a bit with the "august body” reference.

Some are outraged at "Dem” are words of wisdom. But, those blunt "tough love” words prove acumen in wheeling and dealing in this new political reality, where words mean different things to different audiences, and there is an atmosphere where bills may be passed, and the public is not allowed to know the details of those bills. You go Senator Reid! Those are words to live by, and to remain part of a legacy! You are creating quite a legacy.

Speaking of legacy, someone e-mailed information about President Harry Truman, detailing his refusal to slather himself in the lard of earmarks and perks. This has apparently been making the rounds. I knew about some of the quotes, but being a wannabe sleuth, I researched and found the e-mail to be factually correct. I am in shock. He did not set himself up in the presidency to have a fabulous house in which to retire, at the expense of the "T” class? His only asset was his wife’s house that she inherited from her parents? He was living on his annual Army pension of $13,507.72, paying for his own stamps...and licking them to boot? He drove himself and his wife back to their house after he left office, and there were no droves of Secret Service accompanying him? He declared that the office of the President "doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it’s not for sale”? He refused the Medal of Honor? As president, he paid for his own travel expenses, and his food? What was he thinking?

I am puzzled. Was he for real? I will not even try to list all of the perks that being in present day politics, bring with it. It is far easier to detail items that are not perks. Tellingly, the health care being foisted on the peons is not a perk that has been chosen by the "perksters.” Some people fear that "reform" could wipe out more of the elderly than any sex-crazed religious fanatic ever could. The "perksters” should return to the drawing board, get their priorities straight, and wipe out the terrorists instead of the elderly. Even a simpleton can understand that.

I guess President Truman’s legacy is going to be that of a true, selfless, frugal American, something like they used to make them. He is not going to be among the pantheon of politicians we are currently stuck with. Politicians who after a couple years in office, get Secret Service and other protection, every other building named after them, offices paid for, medals coming out of their noses, various and all types of transportations, prodigious pensions, and interns and pages to satisfy their every whim. Scratch that last part. The interns and pages are perks while they are in office. Too bad President Harry is no longer here to "give them hell!”

Sad to say, when I see many of our current political leaders, I see visuals of bloated pigs, with the money collected from taxpayers hanging out of their snouts. Coincidentally, the visual I see of taxpayers, is one where we are herded into groups, with gargantuan herds of pigs pushing their snouts in our pockets. We are desperately trying to let the herds know that the pockets are bare, but they keep feeding! Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around – that humans feed on pigs? Whoever came up with the naming of "earmarks,” for the pork inserted in bills by politicians, is a genius! It fits in perfectly with the porker theme. From now on, every time I see some of those politicians on television, my eyes are going to be like the x-ray machines that are being hurried into use at airports. Through their Armani duds, I am going to see nothing but a pig talking through a teleprompter, quoting words written by someone else!

This American political process has left me feeling as if my innocence and naivety have been forcibly stripped from me. For a long time, I held onto an admittedly idealistic notion of US politicians, as somehow being a breed apart. Maybe I held that vision because of the history of how the country was founded, where politicians selflessly gave of their lives, fortunes and families, all in the cause of freedom. Well, the veil has been stripped away.

I now have more respect for third world dictators. They are who they are, and they make no pretense. I no longer want to hear American taxpayers addressed as "My fellow Americans.” The use of this salutation has become cynical, hypocritical and conjures up the image of Americans about to be politically screwed – yet again. My back is hurting from assuming the position! Just address "fellow Americans” by the social security #, or whatever identifier is used for tax purposes, and stop the games.

I don’t get the impression that God is going to greet some of these amoral and immoral politicians with the salutation "well done, thou good and faithful servant.” Anyway, instead of wishing that they rot in hell, I will simply say, as is said in the South, "bless their hearts.”