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Ercille I. Christmas

Halloween Came Early This Year
October 31, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009 dawned like any other day, not too hot, even a little cool. What follows is a tale, befitting the Halloween period.

 

The lid was lifted off of the cauldron, known as The House, in Washington DC. Trusty aides lifted out a whopping 1990 pages of a HealthCare Bill! Jaws dropped. Hands went up in the air. The Good witch from the West (San Francisco), crooned about bringing in a horror care, er healthcare plan that would heal the sick, make the blind see, and put the country further in debt, up to seven generations hence. Oops, got confused there with that last claim. That was made by critics of her “creation,” or as some referred to it, her “creature from the black cauldron!”

 

I have a confession to make. When the Good witch’s second in command, in perfect stentorian tones, declared that this process was “open and transparent, “ the most in his 29 years in office, I laughed out loud. I apologize. I could not help myself. Flashes of cries of “where’s the bill,” that replaced the “where’s the beef,” slogan of years ago, flashed into my mind. Well, the public asked for the bill. They got it, twice the size of previous bills.

 

It is later in the day. I finally got a look at the new “baby” in town, all 1990 pages. A friend sent me a link to the official government site. Some television shows provided the visuals. Thank God I did not have to read that as part of my college education! I would have flunked.

 

However, there is an upside to this girth. The “tome” has “out-paged” the Bible. There are various courses on how to read the Bible in one year. I see a business opportunity for an enterprising entrepreneur, plotting out how to read this pre-Halloween “treat.” Legislators have 72 hours to “read” it. Calling all pages and interns! Forget those Halloween parties. You will “party,” for your political party this weekend. You will read and digest this bill, if you do not want to be tricked!

 

Actually, critics already feel that it is the American people who will be tricked, even though they have been providing the “treats” also known as taxes, year after year, even when it is not Halloween. So how will taxpayers be “tricked”? Some folks are already pointing out that taxpayers will be picking up the tab for healthcare for “guests” whom they did not invite into their country. The guests saw open borders. They walked in and took up residence. I really do not see the cause for protest about the extension of this benefit. This bill provides a sort of “continuity of care,” in health insurance parlance. American taxpayers are already paying for schooling, housing and all of the necessities those guests need. Why should there be an exclusion for healthcare?

 

Critics are also incensed that the bill will have provisions for taxpayers to pay for abortions. Again, why the protests now? I believe that the number of babies aborted in the US is heading for sixty million. Factor in the number worldwide provided for, by the abrogation of the Mexico City agreement/treaty and that is a record that is begging to be broken. This bill provides that vehicle.

 

Some are screaming that premiums are going to go up while benefits go down. What is wrong with that? This bill is a masterpiece if one is trying to fulfill the laws of gravity and spatial-temporal reasoning. Don’t ask me about spatial-temporal reasoning. I have enough problems figuring out non-spatial and non-temporal reasoning. I am already losing the battle with the laws of gravity. Just work with me. I am trying my best to defend this steroidal healthcare bill!

 

Another criticism is that the cost is going to be one trillion. What is a little trillion dollars between taxpayers and lawmakers? The lawmakers have already done the heavy lifting, pun very much intended, of “Big Bertha,” the tax bill. Now, as usual, it will be time for the serfs, I mean taxpayers, to shoulder their portion of the burden.

 

Timeout. I have to apologize for my sloppy writing in mislabeling some of these names and terms. All of this criticism is seeping through and influencing my attempts to write an objective piece! I will keep trying. I see a plus in adding another trillion to the financial obligations of the country. It will hasten the demise of the dollar as the “world” currency. That is one less “burden” that will be carried by the country. Yippee!

 

Other critics of this healthcare reform/overhaul/transformation, are blaming the president for his “calling out,” of any and all critics of his master plan. So far, he has “called out” Fox News, the health insurance industry, and the US Chamber of Commerce. The irony of this president versus business tussle, is that the insurance industry and the Chamber reportedly poured millions into his election campaign. Their “crime” was apparently trying to bite the hand that they fed! Fox News’ transgression was apparently being Fox News.

 

I am calculating that if I perform no other activity, but read this bill, I can accomplish the task of reading it, in 72 hours, by breathing intermittently; hold off on cursing and fretting; and speed pray to God to help me from exploding, from all of this knowledge!

 

I have begun reading the Bill. I got as far as the title. So far, so good. I am now onto the first paragraph which reads:

 

“A BILL...

“To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes.”

 

Oh, Oh. I found a phrase in the first paragraph that is making my ticker pump blood faster! What the heck does “for other purposes” mean? Should I now believe what the critics are saying, especially those who have a problem with “end of life counseling”? I still have a lot of living to do, and even when Dr. Death makes his appearance, I am still going to be trying to live it up. Skip the counseling!

 

I have made a decision. Let other folks go out to their Halloween parties. I am going to stay in and watch this ghoulish, danse macabre, between the scarecrow and the pumpkins, (you fill in the names of the characters you believe fit this description). My lips are sealed. I do not want to be “called out!” Check your television listing. The knockdown, drag out Halloween pugilistic “Beer Summit,” minus the beer and the summit, but probably with fake blood, should be featured on most channels. If not on other channels, it will sure to be on Fox. Happy (Healthcare) Halloween!


About Ercille I. Christmas
Ercille I. Christmas was born in the tiny Caribbean island of St. Kitts, the “Gibraltar of the Caribbean." She is thrilled to be an American citizen, living in “the land of the free and the home of the brave." Formerly a supervisor in the insurance industry, her life changed on September 11, 2001, and she has devoted every minute since then, to speaking and writing about the threat that Islamic terrorism and internal anti-American behavior pose to our country. Her book, “Thoughts of a Proud American," can be bought on Amazon.com, and she also blogs at www.Ercillesworld.com and www.Ercillesuniverse.com.