Ercille I. Christmas

President Obama Deserves the Nobel Peace Prize
October 12, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009, was a momentous day. The world woke up to the news that President Obama had been awarded the Nobel prize for peace. The reaction was swift in some quarters, and took a little longer to penetrate the fog of sleep in others. Count me among the slow penetrating fog. I was half awake listening to the radio and debating whether to roll over or get out of bed, when I heard the news. I chuckled. thinking there goes a promo for another Saturday Night Live skit trumpeting that the president had accomplished "Jack" and "Squat" since he took office. Why was the promo on so early? It was not a promo.

I did a quick calculation of the date. We are in the month of October. Was it already Halloween? I do not have a pumpkin yet or candy for the kids. The host of the show assured that there was indeed a win for the president! I was elated that I still had my wits about me and had not lost track of about 3 weeks of my life, thinking that it was already the end of October! I was now awake.

I headed for the computer and found about 25 messages all giving opinions about the prize. Incredulity was in abundance, spiced up with a few peppery remarks, and cries for "forensic" evidence! The "bean counters" weighed in with their calculations about how many days the president was in office before the nominations closed. Since earlier I was bringing forth Halloween before its appointed time, I stayed away from the calendar days counting task force. I know my limitations.One e-mail contained a link to a poll, which unfortunately the president was losing by about a 75% margin. You can't win them all.

Now fully awake, I decided that I was going to try to refute all of the arguments that I heard being put forth denigrating this fine achievement. Many wanted tangible proof of achievement deserving of such an award. If I am not up to the task of coming up with said achievements, I am going to call on that fact checking team at CNN, to enlist the services of those experts who attempted to dismantle that Saturday Night Live skit. But first I will humbly give it the old college try.

Many made the argument that the president had achieved nothing in his nine months in office. Well he did not birth a baby but he did become the proud parent of a dog called BO. That surely brought peace in the dog kingdom. He took the missus on a date night to New York. How many of you criticizing him can crow about this achievement in promoting marital harmony? He entertained some young guests on the White House Lawn. Wait. Scratch that. Reports are that the kids were sent away crying. This crack reporter will have to investigate that. But at least, except for that last bit, he demonstrated family values, peace in the family. Score one for "nobility" in action!

Many were incensed and stridently expressed their derision at the prize, belligerently stating that he received the prize for belittling his fellow citizens on that "apology tour." He called those fellow citizens "arrogant." Give it a rest, you detractors. Americans are arrogant. You put your nose in so many conflicts that it would be difficult to keep track, I will confine myself to World War II. There were those nice Europeans minding their own business, fighting among themselves, with a dictator, or two or three, slaughtering millions..

Sure the Americans were provoked by the Japanese and entered World War II, but if they were not "arrogant," they could have made that more of a low key approach, instead of riding in like cowboys on tanks, riding Hitler and his minions, rescuing and feeding the living, and burying the dead. In the interests of "peace," they should have sat down and talked with Hitler instead of bombing him into oblivion. I forgot. Neville Chamberlain tried the "peace in our time" approach. Hitler was not impressed. He was impressed by those "arrogant" Americans. The bones of many of those "arrogant" American troops are buried on European soil. Millions of Europeans still remember and are still grateful. It appears that it is some Americans, one in particular, who have forgotten..

I think that I am messing up my case for the defense. Maybe I should move on to another issue that was brought up, about the president's lack of fiscal knowledge and responsibility. It is always thrown in his face about how he "socialized" most of the auto industry, parts of the financial industry, and eventually the health care industry. In his defense, if all of those leaders in those industries came to him with hats in hand begging for bailouts and rescues, what was he supposed to do? Just say "no." That slogan was already taken. He instead said "yes we can," and he did. He brought peace to the financial industry and the vehicular industry. The iconic Hummer brand is now going to the Chinese and the Saturn brand is going into the car graveyard. The American auto industry is almost in pieces.

I screwed up again there, didn't I. I need to return to school and learn the art of flawlessly presenting and supporting an argument/thesis! I am going to continue trying until I get it right. OK, I think that I have it. He is bringing peace to the world by having Iran turn its soon to be completed nuclear weapons into plough shares. There will be inspections allowed, For real extra credit, Iran has not blown any nations to bit...yet. This has been done all on the promise of the US president to treat Iran's leader as on the same level as the US president. They will be standing shoulder to shoulder, arms raised, singing a chorus of "Kumbaya!" That will indeed be a very "transformative" photo op.I am hedging my bets, in case this scenario does not quite play out. I am going to Costo to purchase one of those $799 disaster preparedness kits.

I just fumbled that one. I move on. I have found my ace in the hole to come up with an achievement for the president. He has been accused of adding more to the debt in his first 200 or so days, than in the first 232 years of the republic. Where others see that as a minus, I see it as a plus. He achieved in days what others took centuries not to do! I do not believe any other president will reach that milestone ever again. They may not want to, since their descendents may be so incensed at them, for burdening these descendents with debt, that the descendents may storm to the cemeteries where the bones of the "debt-meisters" are interred, and rip open the graves in anger. That could be a scene to rival "Night of the Living Dead!"

I know. I know. I am going to have to fire myself from this self-appointed task of defending the president's pick up of that prize. Maybe Saturday Night Live was right. He did "Jack" and "Squat."

Wait. I am not giving up that easily! He has inspired me to seek that Nobel prize myself. I e-mailed friends to nominate me:

OK, that's it! Will someone nominate me? My claim to fame? I have, through extensive clinical trials, (on myself), conclusively proved, that humor, the ability to laugh at myself, and especially at pompous people, is a surefire cure for the blues! My thesis is entitled "Blues Cues & Hues!"

I have my acceptance speech prepared, short and sweet:

I would like to thank this distinguished body for giving me this prize, that I don't deserve, but I could sure use the dough! I would be remiss if I didn't thank President "The One," who proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, that one does not need to achieve in order to achieve! Thank you very much (in a great Elvis impersonation)!

One of the best offers that I received is the following from Joy:

I might consider nominating you if you change your acceptance speech to say you did deserve this award and what the hell took so long for them to give it to you. You do that and give me $10 when you win and we have a deal! LOL!

Laugh out loud indeed. I would laugh, but I am too close to tears at the laughingstock that this country has become. This Committee is being accused of bestowing this prize in order to influence the war against terrorists in Afghanistan. How could their newly crowned "King of peace," turn around and send forty thousand more troops to Afghanistan. As a man of "world peace," he is expected to screw the troops who are fighting in just that small part of the world, all to the greater good, right? That reminds me. One comparison made was that this was the first "affirmative action" Nobel Peace prize, I pray to God that was not the case. My ego could not stand it.

This article began as a lighthearted look at the Nobel Peace prize award. I move onto more serious stuff. The Olympics beauty contest is over. The Nobel Peace prize contest is over. The record is now 1-1. Can we as a nation, and that includes the president, get back to dealing with the request of our Military to choose victory in Afghanistan? Stop the name calling. Stop the placing of parties and cronies ahead of what is good for the country. While you idiots from whatever parties are busy name calling like school children, our troops, that you sent out to fight and die, are putting up a gallant fight, even with your idiotic rules of engagement, and you are contributing to needless deaths. Is that in plain enough English, unlike the punitive bills that you are relentlessly shoving down our throats and any other available orifices?

My heart just about broke when I read an article from Times Online discussing how our chaplains are worried that some of our troops in Afghanistan are tired from multiple tours of duty, and demoralized by what they are perceiving as a lack of support. My e-mail pals and I are organizing to let those fine men and women know that we care. We want to flood them with postcards and letters of love. We pray that the civilians in charge of making decisions that affect the lives of these troops, have the energy and courage to act sensibly, responsibly and quickly. How many meetings does it take to finally decide to act? The lives of young kids too young to buy a beer but not too young to defend their country, are in the balance.Do not turn Afghanistan into Vietnam. Move it!