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Recent Articles A Solomonesque Dilemma...Saw the U.S. in Half? Bridge to Somewhere: My Wish List for a President Seeking an Attitude Adjustor There’s A New "Plague” In Town...”Debt-itis” Whither Now, America?
About Ercille I. Christmas |
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Ercille I. Christmas
Seeking an Attitude Adjustor
I am coming out of the closet. I am coming clean. I am confessing. I am guilty as Hades. What is this "sin” of which I am pleading guilty? Make "sin” plural, as my ‘transgressions” are many.
With what I am about to confess, I have come to the realization that I need help. I am going to seek out the professional services of an "attitude adjustor.” His role is going to be something like counselors at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I need someone who can guide me through the process of shedding many, if not all, of my outmoded beliefs and practices. I am going to prepare a list of the behaviors that are preventing me from taking my rightful place in this modern 21st century, where the traits and characteristics which led this country to be the greatest in the world are no longer in fashion, and could be outright banned.
I can envision our session going something like this. Mr. Attitude Adjustor, may I refer to you as Mr. AA? Good. I appreciate your kindness in allowing me this small indulgence. First up, I confess that I am guilty of "clinging to God.” As I see my beloved US sinking deeper into a financial, moral, social, educational and political morass, I am holding on tightly to my God. Thank Him that He is not the type to try to remove my clinging fingers from His righteous garments. I can now safely confess that I am one of those described as a "Jesus freak,” if that description fits one who believes that Jesus died to save her wretched self. I find myself pretending that I am back in the early days of the colonies, when the sun went down early, there was no television, and Bible reading was a great substitute for a "hobby.” I now read my Bible more than ever. Something must be wrong here. There is hope though. I am not clinging to any guns…yet.
I am guilty of believing in, and wanting to cling to, a United States of America, as envisioned and crafted by the Founding Fathers. I am guilty of believing in, not only my rights as a US citizen, but also my responsibilities to the Constitution of the United States. I know that it is very fashionable to demand "rights,” and dodge responsibilities. Help me, please. How can I learn to subjugate what is right for the country to my personal "rights” and desires? I guess if I am asking that question, I am not yet ready for a "conversion.”
Maybe I will have more success with my other "defect.” I keep having this yearning that the rulers of the land will finally make the easy decision to protect the sovereignty of the United States by knowing the comings-and-goings of all who "visit.” If keeping track of the "goings” proves too arduous, at least concentrate on the comings. What should I do when I am almost in tears every time I hear another story about an American citizen who is beaten robbed, raped and/or killed by yet another "visitor” who should not be here? Please help me to control my resentment when I read about another young person who is denied a job because he or she speaks only English? These are the same young people whose potential jobs are being exported to countries whose rulers are building up their arsenals, economic and military, to possibly use against this country. The great exportation of jobs once held by the middle class was supposed to open up untold opportunities. The only opportunities that have been opened up are disconcerting stories about business failures and political bailouts.
I just jogged my memory about another of my unwanted jaunts into nostalgia, as I mentioned speaking and writing English. I have to let you know that I keep being confronted by visions of a time when being educated in the US meant that you knew that "cludder” is not a word. You knew how to spell it the "old-fashioned” and correct way, "clutter.” It meant that you knew that the verb "is” meant "is.” Ah, the good old days, when immoral behavior was immoral behavior and did not rely on the meaning of the verb "is.”
Wait. I almost forgot. We also have another front in the "dismantling” of the US of the Founding Fathers. We are drinking deep from the oil spigots of the Middle East, while selling off national and private assets to feed our addiction to oil. Mr. AA, maybe you need to start an organization called "OA” (Oil-aholics Anonymous). That might be really lucrative. You would have a well-oiled and well-heeled clientele, the oil-abusers also known as politicians and other elites, who fly around in their jets, while preaching to the rest of us to ditch the SUVs. You know, the ones who want to leave their carbon footprints on Mount Rushmore.
Mr. AA, I am not boring you yet, am I? And even if I am, so what? I am paying you. I "own” you for the next hour! Wow, I am learning already to be super aggressive and demanding my money’s worth. Yeah me! You are already having an effect and you haven’t even gotten a word in edgewise.
Okay, back to me. You have to help me get over my aversion to amoral politicians, and learn to adore and worship them. I confess that a time or two, I have come right out and compared some politicians to toilet paper, with the difference being that toilet paper cleans up the mess, while politicians simply make a mess and then offer themselves to clean it up!
You have your work cut out for you, Mr. AA. I am still mired in nostalgia for a time when a handshake sufficed in closing a deal, when a person got a mortgage with the "hometown” bank, and the mortgage loan remained with that bank instead of being sold four or five times in about one year. I am still pining for a time when crooks, robbers and burglars wore ski masks, so I could more easily identify them. I have great difficulty in screening the crooks in three-piece suits.
Do you think my case is hopeless? I will keep your failure to convert me our little secret, shared only by a couple hundred or so of my closest friends. That is a promise you can believe in!
So until or if the US ever becomes the "Untied States of America,” I will continue to cling to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will continue to cling to my faith that enough Americans still believe in a country crafted upon Judeo-Christian principles to want to fight to preserve it. I will continue to believe that someday God will allow us to be ruled by wise rulers, not those emitting cow patties from their fly traps. I will continue to believe that I will still have the freedom to "call ‘em like I see ‘em,” no matter who is in charge of this country. And I will continue to believe that "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!”
