An invitation is being sent out to celebrate a "New America." A seismic shift has occurred in the political, cultural and economic life of the US, and everyone is invited to the party!

Politically, the presidential candidates have all pledged to honor the "I love America" theme, in conducting their campaigns. No longer will anti-American rhetoric be tolerated by hangers on, donors, or even friends and family of the candidates. Consequently, there will be no more talk about "God damn America." There will be no references to "KKK of America." It is now verboten to smugly proclaim one's lack of pride in one's country of birth-the US, from which much has been taken/received.

The candidates are on a roll! One threw down the gauntlet and challenged all others to take yet another pledge. This pledge is to refrain from indulging in "political hyperbole." The example cited was something about "dodging bullets in a war zone." Reportedly, the vision/version of the candidate did not square with the Polaroids.

The presidential candidates were not the only ones throwing around pledges. Some lower tier candidates mentioned something about not taking any more trips financed by "donors," especially after the embarrassing revelations that three US legislators were suckered into a public relations trip to Iraq, in an attempt to preempt an attack by US forces, back in 2003. The trip was paid for. The trained seals performed. The attack was launched. The "donor" representing a charity, has now been indicted. Although like Caesar's wife, the legislators should have "appeared to be above suspicion," no legal suspicions have been revealed...at this time.

Yet other candidates and legislators in this new "America, we love you, let us count the ways," atmosphere, came up with a plan that from this day forth, when they spoke about doing things for the American people, they would ensure that these "things," would not happen to the American people. Finally, they would get those pesky prepositions correct!

When the presidential candidates heard about this wave of doing things for the American people, they once again jumped into the fray. They "trilaterally" agreed to pledge to stop forcing hard-working Americans to keep paying for free medical care, housing and education for "uninvited guests" to their country. Schools would no longer be overcrowded. Kids could raise those test scores. Teachers could stop pulling their hairs out. Hospitals and emergency rooms would no longer be closing. Heck, there was talk of a pledge to spend $23 billion to build a border fence. "Where's the fence" would no longer be a rallying cry!

Some businessmen, not to be outdone in this new wave of "Americans first," began returning "prodigal jobs", from far away continents to US soil. One company pledged to bring back 5,000 outsourced jobs, which would be "insourced" to worthy American candidates. Happy days are here again. Customer service jobs, welcome back to Mama and Papa!

The good news continued to pour in! The production of US passports would no longer be outsourced to Thailand to save a few bucks. Citizens who worry about the risk of super sensitive information, being gleaned by those with possible nefarious intentions, can exhale. Sign me up for renewal!

No, we are not finished with the good economic news! For awhile there, food prices were increasing...rapidly. Buy cereal or pay the mortgage? Pay the mortgage, or leave the key to the house in the front door for the banker to collect? The "double digit" increase in the monthly mortgage was caused by? There is not enough paper to record. The double digit increase in food prices was in part caused by the mad rush to divert corn to use in the production of Ethanol. Have enough food to eat, or enough Ethanol to power the vehicle, in a bid to beat back the ever increasing gas prices? Starve to death but save on fuel? This has all been turned around. Chickens once again have sufficient feed to produce real eggs, which were in danger of "outpricing" Faberge eggs! Ethanol is now produced in abundance, scaring the producers of fossil fuel into lowering their prices, and resulting in a drop of gasoline to $1 per gallon. Hallelujah, drive on citizens!

What? Damn, this was all an April Fools Day /joke/hallucination? I did not have any of those exotic mushrooms that I have heard about! Only 1,400 of those outsourced jobs, can be returned, because not enough "qualified Americans" can be found to fill the remaining 1,600 jobs? The $23 billion dollar fence is to protect the sovereign soil of Egypt, not the US? The "Uninvited guests" are still roaming the streets? One even prematurely ended the life of a promising athlete/scholar, who was being courted by a major university here in California? His death is but one of the stat of about twelve citizens per day, wiped out by "uninvited guests?"  Do I owe apologies to Evie who sent me a reminder of Sir Walter Scott's The Lay of the Last Minstrel, which includes one poem about a citizen who does not love his country, for not trusting her equation of this man, with one of the candidates who seeks to rule us? Is Evie prescient in her analysis? In Canto Six, Sir Walter Scott wrote:

Breathes there a man, with a soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
This is my own, my native land!

And, doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
Unwept, Unhonor'd, and Unsung.

Ah, reality is a cruel "unraveler" of dreams! What or whom, am I to believe anymore?

Excuse me while I assume the position. No, not that position of sheep to the slaughter, or a hen forced to lay an egg. I have donned my "warrior garb." I am "armed" with my computer, my "thinking cap," and my burning desire to secure my vision of "America the beautiful." Yes, my writing pen is outnumbered by generous "donors," to willing politicians, but I will not be deterred. April 1, 2008 is past. The future beckons. I am ready. Are you?