Grim Fairy Tales
Politics David Jeffers
April 12, 2008
 

There was once upon a time a king and his wife. Now King Willie was the type of king who told the people he felt their pain, that he would be like Robin Hood, in words, steal from the rich to give to the poor. He even promised the hard working peasants of his land that if they would follow him and live in his kingdom, he would give them all a tax break. The problem with many of King Willie’s promises was that they were actually lies, but the king had some magical powers over his followers that they still loved him.

 

The king once told his followers that, “I want to make it very clear that this middle-class tax cut, in my view, is central to any attempt we're going to make to have a short-term economic strategy."

 

One year later when the king was asked about the promised middle-class tax cut, Slick Willie, rather King Willie said, “From New Hampshire forward, for reasons that absolutely mystified me, the press thought the most important issue in the race was the middle-class tax cut. ‘I never did meet any voter who thought that.”

 

King Willie promised “The only people who will pay more income taxes are the wealthiest 2 percent, those living in households making over $200,000 a year.” But the ever vigilant New York Tymes reported, “There are tax increases for every family making more than $20,000 a year!”

 

One day while the King was alone in his throne room, a young fair maiden of the court made herself seen by the king; she did because it was reported this king had a weakness for such maidens. The king wooed the fair maiden and had a scurrilous affair which the public ended up clamoring about.

 

Enter Queen Hilda…the queen was very upset not with the king but with the people. She claimed that the king’s enemies were trying to unseat him from the throne with such treasonous claims. The queen called it “a vast right-wing conspiracy,” although most the subjects did not understand this.

 

The king even went before his subjects, pointed his finger forcefully at them and said, “I did not have sex with that woman.” However, the king’s parliament would not let up on him and after many months of investigation and an impeachment trial, the king admitted, “Indeed I did have a relationship with said fair maiden that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong.” Many supporters swooned over such a strong admittance to adultery.

 

As was the custom of this kingdom which in fact was a republic, every eight years the king had to step down and the people of the land had to elect a new king. King Willie and Queen Hilda did not want to leave, they so loved the castle…so much so that they even stole much of the silverware and furniture.

 

Now after eight years of King George the Junior, Queen Hilda greatly desires to become this great republic’s first elected queen. And of course Willie wants to become King again, even though his official title will be First Husband.

 

Queen Hilda has begun her ascent to the throne by using King Willie’s approach, misspeaking the truth. Hilda has told a tall tale about going into enemy territory under immense hostile fire but alas the nettlesome newspapers have provided proof that it was a peaceful place where her highness went to. It has become so bad that one person has actually written that Hilda is a liar!

 

And just when this episode was becoming much ado about nothing, King Willie rides up to save the day for his fair queen and claims that she made a mistake in the middle of the night even though the Queen made her claim in the morning. Me thinks the King protests too much!

 

The Queen, should she win the nomination, will have a difficult battle against the much aged Knight McCain. She is in a much-heated battle with an upstart squire who has the great gift of speech. It is said that Squire Obama could read the phone book and persuade the peasants that he is worthy of the throne.

 

Old subjects of the Great Republic shake their head in wonder at the pathetic pretenders that have stepped forward to take over the throne. Only Providence shall tell if the land will live happily ever after.

David Jeffers is a lay preacher, retired Army Master Sergeant and author of Understanding Evangelicals: A Guide to Jesusland. A Magna Cum Laude graduate of Liberty University where he received his degree in Biblical Studies, Mr. Jeffers frequently comments on the Evangelical perspective of current affairs in the media. Mr. Jeffers has published numerous articles on The New Media Journal and appears regularly on talk radio shows around the country. Mr. Jeffers is available for public speaking engagements.

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